Proof! Denmark is Unholy and Sex-Obsessed

This Microsoft Office Suite ad, marketed to university students in Denmark, is irrefutable evidence that the Danish culture is made up of pleasure-seeking heathens:



(Trust me. I know what I'm talking about. Also, for the record: I'm Dutch.)

EDIT 3/4/09: As we know there is "something rotten in Denmark" I am not surprised to report the video has been taken down. Okay, actually I *am* surprised. And disappointed. I thought the Danes at least had done away with silly notions about safe iconic sex! I wonder how they're doing with the abolishment of potential weirdness the day after drunken Office Ultimate parties.

I also wonder who at Microsoft compiled the data for product user demographic. That's some research I'd love to see. Oh, yeah.

Let's go steady!

I'm complicated (that's why I blog)

I have other blogs besides this one. Did you know?

This complex, mysterious, multi-faceted woman cannot be contained in just ONE PLACE on the Internet. Oh no. I have to spread my interesting-ness around, lest the Internet get top heavy (bottom heavy? help me out here...) and break during the replaying of @Kamarama's infamous wardrobe malfunction during last Friday's live podcast of Strange Love Live.

Confession: I admit I was assigned nipple patrol that night, which means to be on the hunt for wayward nips, but was helplessly distracted by naughty talk in the podcast chat room. I am the worst Chat room Mistress-slash-Nipple Police EVAR.

If you're a regular visitor (Greetings, Australia!) you know that on this blog I practice the art of revealing everything and nothing AT THE SAME TIME. There's also some techie talk, some sexy talk, and some baking talk. (Note to self: this paragraph describes all Portland girls. Maybe you should re-think any ideas of perceived originality? But not tonight. Too tired.)

I write about Portland stuff on Our PDX. On I Heart Media on Vox you'll see my favorite music, books, movies and lyrics, special messages that mean a lot to me. I write on Beer and Blog (to help bloggers over beer) as Portland Chapter Provost, which has been an incredibly cool experience.

And soon, very soon I'll be writing regularly on the Long Lunch PDX blog, about social media and how it works (and doesn't work) in real life.

You could say I've been busy. There's also the I'dtellyoubutthenI'dhavetokillyou projects that burn in my head (and heart, and, ahem, other places) that I work on obsessively, under the cover of night and during weekend free time.

However, here are some recent works that I'm willing to admit exist:

• Drupal Magic Animal Farm
• Welcome to Beer and Blog, 2009 Edition
• The Weepies "Hideaway"
• Fever Ray "If I Had A Heart"
• Nostalgia is the punchline
• Make a difference this summer: leave home

Hope you enjoyed this overview of some facets of my personality. I'll write something purposely vague here on this blog again, real soon. (Or maybe it's time to gush about Portland on Our PDX...or the latest indie rock band on I Heart Media on Vox...)

Let's go steady!

How to make #mmmpie and influence people

I spent a lot of time yesterday baking for my beautiful friend Nic's Valentine's Day birthday party. Creating edible delectibles is how I show my (mostly) offline friends how much I love them, and last night I loved them as much as 8 mini hand pies and 1 full sized pie of granny smith brown sugar oatmeal goodness. That's a lot of love.

These pies rocked it so hard I had to hashtag it. #mmmpie indeed!

I don't know about you, but I tweet while enjoying the company of my non-tweeting, non-bloggy friends. Not only are they good for hilarious @overheard tweets, they like the thrill of knowing my tweets are seen by hundreds of people. I know this because when one of them has made an ass of themselves, they'll helpfully say, "you should tweet that!" in the hopes that I will.

Yes, they're used to this ritual of mine, of the careful choosing 140 characters (or less) my latest attempt to answer that omnipotently addictive twitter question: what are you doing right now?

Editorial note: Yes, omnipotently is a word.

Recently these dear flesh friends have become evermore curious about this "social media thing" I do. Conversations range from how to avoid that overwhelmed feeling that's brought on by the bajillion (...and one...and counting) sparkly social media tools out there; how to figure out FacebookTwitterFlickrLinkedIn; and how to find people who share a love for black and while movies that feature accordion-playing nuns with tattoos. (I have very interesting flesh friends.)

And I love hearing their questions! It's incredibly helpful in ensuring I'm covering the right things in my Social Media in Real Life class. Even on the Social Media 101 level there are a huge number of topics to discuss that can help connect people with the tools the need to tell their story, sell their idea, promote their cause.

I'll be writing more on the basics of social media on Long Lunch PDX, and do my best to share relevant information about using social media in real life.

Just remember to wait one hour after eating #mmmpie before you swim in the online social pool.

mediaChick's #mmmpie

Single crust:

1 3/4 cup of flour
1 tablespoon of sugar
1 teaspoon of salt
1 1/4 cup of chilled, cubed non-salted butter
4-5 tablespoons of ice water

Apple filling:

6 large, 8 medium, or 10 small granny smith apples (peeled, cored and chopped in medium-sized chunks)
1/2 cup of white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar (plus extra)
1/2 cup oatmeal (plus extra)
2 tablespoon flour
2 tablespoon of non-salted butter (plus extra)

Making the crust:

In a large bowl or pastry mixer combine flour, sugar and salt. Add butter cubes and stir gently, coating the cubes with the flour mixture. Throughout the entire crust-making process, try to handle the dough as little as possible.

Use a pastry blending tool or the pastry mixer to incorporate the butter throughout the flour. It is important not to let the butter get too warm, otherwise you'll have a flour-butter paste. This is bad because it makes rolling the dough out a sticky, frustrating endeavor. If your butter is getting too mushy, put the concoction in the fridge for 10 minutes until it behaves again.

When the largest of the butter cubes are the size of peas, add ice water two tablespoons at a time and keep mixing. Keep and eye out for when the dough pulls together, but is not super sticky. When that happens, you're done mixing. (There should be little pieces of butter visible throughout the dough.) Gently shape the dough into a flat disk 4-5 inches in diameter with floured hands. Wrap it in plastic and put it in the fridge for 30 minutes while you're making the apple pie filling.

Making the filling:

Put the apple chunks in a large bowl. Mix 2 tablespoons of flour, the white and brown sugars and the oatmeal together and then stir it into the apples. Melt 2 tablespoons of butter over medium-low heat in a very large pot. Pour the apple mixture in the pot, coat it with the melted butter, and put the lid on the pot. Stir occasionally, for 10 minutes, or until the largest apple chunks are only slightly crunchy and the smallest chunks are soft. Take it off the burner, take of the lid, and let it cool while you shape the crust.

Shaping the crust:

Set your oven to 400 degrees. Take out the dough chilling in the fridge, unwrap it, and let it sit on a floured surface for 5 minutes. With a floured rolling pin, gently roll on the dough once and then turn it 45 degrees. Roll it again, turn it again. (This technique keeps the dough's thickness uniform.) Do this until you have a round-ish shape 10 inches in diameter. Fold the dough in half, then again. Place the folded dough in a pie dish and unfold the dough so it's a full circle again, then press the dough gently on all sides of the dish.

Pour the apple filling into the pie plate, spreading the mixture evenly. With the filling keeping the dough in place, cut the dough around the plate edge, leaving no more than 1 inch hanging off the edge.

Next, do something interesting with the pie crust, around the edge. If you've keep the dough's temperature cool, the dough should be easy to mold into something pretty.Try folding the dough under and then pressing it down with a fork. Or try fluting it (which is much easier than you'd think).

Sprinkle a mixture of some brown sugar and oatmeal over the top of the apple filling. Dot generously with butter. Bake for 20-25 minutes at 400 degrees. If your oven runs hot, use tin foil (shiny side down) and cover the pie crust edge.

Enjoy!

Let's go steady!

Brilliance makes me sleepy

Yesterday it was rumored I'd been p0rnnapped:



I've unintentionally caused my friends @melissalion and @jarvitron to worry about me (secretly I am veryvery pleased) but the truth is, I was asleep.

ASLEEP. Not soundly, not deeply, but asleep nonetheless by 7pm last night. That's earlier than most really old people, and I'm only on the cusp of old. I have an excuse: I was exhausted by possibilities and a good, old-fashioned "Ah HA!" moment.

I had had a good, productive work day yesterday. I ate lunch and laughed. I drove home daydreaming, as I do, about all the things I want to do that night. Last night in particular I was hot with ideas to share in my class Social Media in Real Life.

I've been in online education a long time, and it's taught a couple of things about what people like when in a classroom setting. All that aside, I know what *I* like, and that's handouts. Yes, in this "paperless society" I want something to take away with me after the bell rings even if I take notes (and of course you know I take notes). Call it a security blanket, but teachers who have even one physical piece of paper to share with their students are gods to me.

So as I drive home, my thoughts are swirling around what kind of information I would provide in my class handouts. And then I came up with an idea, in the spirit of the class description of "free (or nearly free) online tools" on how to provide a one page, double-sided handout that would never go obsolete. Ever. BRILLIANCE, if I do say so myself.

You'll need to attend the class, which I'm co-teaching with Random House novelist @melissalion, to fully bask in the glow of said brilliance though. (That's the same @melissalion who was worried about me along with the ever funny, ever potty-mouthed @jarvitron.)

But the time I got home I couldn't keep my eyes open. I noticed the dog and cat needed to be fed. I saw my teenaged son behind his computer, pantomiming the act of eating soup. I scoffed. Loudly. Deliriously.

I went to bed. I awoke at 5am to find that my palms would have been itching had I been awake last night at the ungodly hour of Before Prime Time.

Have to say, it's nice to know friends are paying enough attention to imagine that my video shoot of an exam review seminar, and deciding to wear sexy panties for a little soul boost, would lead to my unfortunate p0rnnapping. Although, for the record, there may or may not be something like that already making the "my ex-girlfriend is hot" sites.

If you see it, let me know. In the meantime, sign up for my class!

Let's go steady!