For auld lang syne, my dear

I am a stunned to think about all that has happened in the last three hundred and sixty-five days of my life. It feels I've crammed two or three years into this last one. It's not the amount of stuff that's happened, or even the number of things that I've accomplished, but rather the impact of the events.

Although some of this past year has been utterly painful, the likes of which I would not wish another creature to endure, some of it brought truly wonderful warm-and-fuzzy experiences, the kind that steadies wavering faith and restores coal-black hearts back to a healthy pink hue. The last twelve months have resonated deeply in ways I could not have anticipated. I can't help but hold close the idea larger forces are at work.

I get a dizzy when I remember tomorrow is the first day of 2009. And while year's end arrived at an agonizing pace (sometimes blazing fast, sometimes snail slow) I find myself now looking back on the past for clues into my future. And I am choosing, choosing, not to forget.

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

	Barenaked Ladies - Auld Lang Syne
	Found at skreemr.com

My wish to you all: stay safe, seek happiness, show kindness. Happy New Year!

Let's go steady!

Merry xmas to me! My snowed-in week

Just like everyone else in the Portland-Metropolitan area I have been snowed in for days. I've got more than a foot in the back yard, and even burly trucks with chains are having difficulty navigating down my residential street.

Frankly, it's been paradise. I've always been a cave-dweller, the tendency to stay deep inside the cave is something I crave. Spending hours and hours just thinking, is a wonderful state to be in. It's a dream-inducing drug.

And even though I've missed some very special and highly-anticipated annual holiday parties, haven't finished my x-mas gifts because I've run out of supplies (and can't get to the supplier), and can't get into the office, I have to say it: I love this opportunity to be a hermit.

These past few snowy days I've been working a lot at home, crafting some prose and plotting a project. Cooking meals from scratch and baking goodies. Drinking lots of beer and french press coffee. I've been sewing and embroidering and watching holiday movies. I've been talking to my son, cuddling with the cat and walking the dog in the peaceful snow. I fall asleep early and wake up in the still early morning inspired and rested.

It's been wonderful. I needed it.

While I really am disappointed to miss my friends holiday gatherings, and not getting into the office will ding my pocketbook, I am so thankful for these last few days of creative output and family time. I hope everyone is experiencing the same warm-and-fuzzy holiday spirit we are.

Merry Christmas!

Let's go steady!

Twitterdipity is but a click away

I just added my favorite #hashtag to the Twictionary wiki, a very nice collection of "all sorts of manglings of the English language as used on Twitter." Those of you new to twitter should take a peek and read the list. I added #twitterdipity, which I described as:

Happening to see or send a tweet that helps you or another tweeter via links, info, connecting, etc. (Serendipity)

I was delighted to find myself chuckling at twitter-related terms in the Twictionary wiki that I hadn't heard of before, like tweezure and twawkward. (I might have experienced that once or twice.) So, instead of just adding this lovely wiki to my list of #twitterific-ly wonderful links, I was inspired to share my collection, too.

(By the way, all good neurotic-yet-captivating writers make many lists, compulsively. True fact.)

There are a gazillion twitter clients, apps and other shiny twitter baubles out there in this digital universe of ours, and here's my modest slice of the pie, in tasty url bites. I hope you discover at least one twitter tool you've never heard of before. And, who knows? Maybe it'll bring you a true twitterdipity moment.

Classifying yourself (so like-minded people can find you):
TwitterPacks
Twello
AboutUs.org/PortlandTechTwitter
TwittGroups

Shiny Twitter Playthings:
Twictionary
Word on the Tweet
twi8r
Twittervision: Map and 3D
Cursebird
TwitWall
Twitt(url)y

Twitter Utilities:
Qwitter
Turled
TwitPayMe
TweetTrak
Tweader
Twitter StreamGraphs

Let's go steady!

Web Connectivity: Our 3.0 Future

Inspiration, in spades.

Let's go steady!

Totally frivolous things I want for x-mas (or else I'll cry)

While evil puffy snowflakes spent Sunday screwing up the roads for Monday morning traffic and halting all Portland Public School business tomorrow, I was researching things I want you to get me for x-mas.

Ok, yes. I do realize this list of totally frivolous things may be, in fact, out of your price range...I just don't care. Seriously. I'm going for it. Get out your Black Card, and let's get on with it, shall we?

eRazor 3 Cordless Shaver Set ($59.96)
I'll just get the cheapest, naughtiest one out of the way first. The rechargeable shaver in this kit is top of the line, and it comes with a pen-sized microtrimmer to keep my delicate areas baby smooth. You know, like behind my knees. Oh, and 10% of all shaver profits are donated to ARPAN in India for those disfigured and burned.

ThinkPad X Series Tablet ($1,844.00)
(Watch the demo)
The following features make this the perfect laptop for me: Multi-touch, multi-function swivel screen tablet laptop. Magnesium-alloy top and bottom covers and a sealed, spill-resistant keyboard. Fingerprint reader. Rubberized end on Digitizer Pen that feels like a real eraser when used. Hook. Me. Up.

Nokia 888 (If you have to ask, you can't afford it)
(Watch the concept video)
This concept cell phone was designed for Nokia Benelux Design Awards by Tamer Nakisci. It runs on liquid batteries, has a flexible touch screen and uses speech recognition technology. It teaches itself based on touch and use. The phone's physical flexibility allows it to be bent into shapes (such as a heart or a squiggly), which you can send to up to 888 Nokia 888 users. This, in turn, makes the cell receiving it make the same shape. That's pretty danged cool, and obviously I deserve it.

So, there you have it. My short list of totally frivolous things I want for x-mas (or else I might cry). Please send me a direct message on twitter if you need my mailing address. Until then, I will sit here and try not to cry.

Thank you, and Happy Holidays!

Let's go steady!

Write Right? All Right!

This is a public confession: I am one of those "tortured writer" types.

You see, I tend to fall madly and idyllically in love with my Big Idea. When it first sparks to life the Big Idea's message churns in the background for a long time, grinding and polishing. What is it I'm trying to say? Then with glistening fragility, my Big Idea begins to crawl, then walk. I lay awake at night worrying about its future, what it will be when it grows up. Then, suddenly, it's asking to borrow the car and sneaking into the liquor cabinet. I endure hand-wringing nights by focusing on the things that made me fall in love in the first place. I have faith. Then, in the end, if I'm lucky, my Big Idea and I will ride off into the sunset of my artistic expression.

That's not easy, you know. But thanks to my beautiful and talented friend and mentor Melissa Lion, it can be easier. Or at least less angsty.

Melissa is a two-time Random House novelist, book reviewer, and popular blogger who lives in my beloved St. Johns neighborhood. In addition to co-running Back Fence PDX (which has a show tomorrow night at the Mission Theater) she just started Long Lunch PDX, a series of writing classes about creating words specifically for the Internet.

On Saturday Melissa will teach Write Right All Right, the first in a series of narrative crafting classes aimed at the Internet writer: the bloggers, the online journalists, the multimedia artists. In this three-hour class (in which lunch is included courtesy of Silicon Florist) Melissa will talk about technical aspects of writing for the Web, such as social media tools, and writing in general, such as grammatical errors and conceptualizing the Big Idea from start to finish. The emotional aspects of writing will also be discussed, such as confidence building and maintaining creativity flow.

Another public confession: I need help with all of that.

Think about it: three hours of a professional novelist's insight into prose for the Web, plus lunch, for 45 bucks. That's a bargain, folks. I've already got my ticket. Who wants to sit next to me in class? Get your tickets now!

Let's go steady!

Portland Geeks are Social Geeks

Here in the Portland, Oregon tech community, we embrace community, collaboration and connectivity. We're also big fans of beer. (We're 4th in the nation for breweries-per-capita in the U.S. and, have you see the Portland Beer Wiki?)

Once you put all that together it's easy to see why we have all these camps, conferences, unconference and meetups: we're geeks who talk about geeky things and we like to party. (So much so that we have a city-wide community event calendar. Have you see the Calagator?)

Take a look at 3 must-do events scheduled in the next 24 hours:

Friday 12/5 4-6
First there's Beer and Blog at the Green Dragon from 4-6pm. Tonight's discussion focuses on Open Source Bridge, an effort to promote open source technology and Portland's unique talent in collaborative software development. Talks will be led by Mr. Silicon Florist himself, Rick Turoczy. (Maybe you've heard of him? No? I'm sorry, we can't hang out any more.)

Please RSVP for tonight's @Beer and Blog at the Green Dragon (928 SE 9th Ave, Portland, Oregon 97214)

Friday 12/5 8:30-who knows when
Second is the official CyborgCamp Pre-Party featuring a special on-location, live broadcast of Strange Love Live. CyborgCamp is an unconference focusing on the interaction between people and technology. (More on that below.) Held at the office of Portland's OpenID darling Vidoop, my good friends Cami Kaos and Mike (Dr Normal ) will podcast their popular tech show in all it's glory. If that's not enough to tempt you, keep in mind that Cami's choice of outfit for the show will be reminiscent of Sean Young in Blade Runner, only with more cleavage. (Also, for those of you not impressed by boobies, there will be beer.)

Please RSVP for tonight's CyborgCamp Pre-Party at Vidoop (117 NW 5th Ave, Suite 210, Portland, Oregon 97209) Pre-Party starts at 8:30pm, Strange Love Live starts at 10pm.

Saturday 12/6 9-6
And, finally, the greatly anticipated CyborgCamp is all day on Saturday. Expect to hear such topics as "social media, design, code, inventions, web 2.0, twitter, the future of communication, cyborg technology, anthropology, psychology, and philosophy." Okay, but the thing I am most looking forward to? Sexy Miss Burrows (Lia Hollander) and her talk on "How being a cyborg keeps me alive". Please check out the cute video she made to promote this event. (Tip: You will need to watch this more than once. Personally, I found her Treasurelicious t-shirt very distracting. Ahem.)

Please buy a ticket for Saturday's CyborgCamp at CubeSpace (622 SE Grand Ave, Portland, OR 97214)

Hope to see you there. Say hello, wouldja?

Let's go steady!

My first (dead man) crush: Leo da Vinci

I recently found myself at The Tech Museum of Innovation (San Jose, CA.) exhibit Leonardo, 500 Years into the Future. I was like a giddy school girl, taking my time wandering the 30,000 square feet of space and staring at more than 200 artifacts. It was like having a chance to catch up with an old crush.

I became infatuated with Leonard in the 6th grade when I created a multimedia project on his life. (Oh, yes. I've been a mediaChick for a long, long time.) I studied about him in the library. I wrote and voiced narration on a tape recorder for playback, timed to coincide with the projector slides of my hand-drawn replications of his art, his inventions, and him. Although it's not atypical for me to fall in love with unattainable men (in this case dead men...Charlie Chaplin being another one in that category) I've fallen the hardest for Leo.

Leo is the epitome of a Renaissance Rock Star. My heart knows him best in his later years, as an old man. It pleases me to no end to believe he was a curmudgeon. Living during a time dangerous for believing arts and science are one and the same, Leo's genius kept him safe and sheltered by Kings and Lords. He was an artist, innovator, and thought leader extraordinaire, always learning and teaching. Always trying again.

I took many, many photos at the exhibit. Here are a few of the best:



Sigh. Isn't he dreamy?

In case you're inspired to be a Renaissance Rock Star, The Social Reformer (Tag line: Has a problem with society. Plans on fixing it.) wrote about life-long learning yesterday, specifically Michael Gelb's Seven da Vinci Principles. The Principles are Gelb's attempt to tap into the unlimited creativity of Leo.

Seven da Vinci Principles

1. Curiosity (Curiosita) Wondering, seeking knowledge
   
2. Demonstration (Dimonstrazione) Continuously trying, perseverance, trial and error
   
3. Sensation (Sensazione) Smelling food before eating, thoughtful observance to highten experience
   
4. Smoke (Sfumato) Accepting fate, "Let it be"
5. Art and Science (Arte/Scienza) Synergy in right/left brain functions
6. The Body (Corporalita) Health of body and spirit
   
7. Connection (Connessione) Understanding inter-connectivity between all things.
   

To tap into your inner Leo, check out Gelb's book How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci: Seven Steps to Genius Everyday. (1998)
Let's go steady!

Photojournalism at its Finest

It's the circle of life, folks. I have harvested, cured and slaughtered my first pumpkin. Raised it myself, I did.

I cut it from the vine the morning of Halloween. The night before I actually fretted about it's safety, worried that hooligans would smash my precious #alienveggie in the All Hallows Eve tradition of violence against squash.

It has fully ripened since then, green alien skin now orange. A really gorgeous orange. Now I bake and puree and freeze. And BAKE. Oh, shall I bake!

Let's go steady!

The Philosophy of Errors

When fixing a link's source on my music blog (you've been to my music blog on Vox, haven't you?) I received this error message:

I hesitated to click OK. In doing so, was I agreeing not to harbor ill will toward the error message for failing to complete my search? Even though said error message then added insult to injury by flippantly admitting subsequent search attempts may be in vain? And that, although "they" are sorry, shit happens?

(I am excellent at reading between the lines.)

I clicked OK.

Let's go steady!

Six Random Things for the Hell of It

Just so you know, my twitter friend Alex Beattie made me do this. (Incidentially, he loves beagles, social media, guitars, marketing and The Beatles.)

Rules of Engagement:

Link to the person who tagged you.
Post the rules on the blog.
Write six random things about yourself.
Tag six people at the end of your post.
Let each person know they have been tagged.
Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

1. In the morning I brush my teeth in the shower. (It saves me water AND time, which I find euphoric.)
   
2. For about two seconds I raced with a women's cycling team. (It was fun for about one second.)
   
3. I am 35% hearing-impaired in both ears. (Which explains why I'm staring at your mouth when you talk to me. It's perfectly innocent. Sorry.)
   
4. I really, really enjoy bound collections of words, such as the Dictionary of the American West (own it) or Depraved and Insulting English. (Want it. NEED IT.)
   
5. On the Myers-Briggs personality test I'm assessed as INFJ (although occassionally I have test as ISFJ). This means I'm sensitive, rare, and know everything. Myers-Briggs says so.
   
6. I have eight of @lollyrae's gorgeous paintings in my home, but only two of them mine. (You should contact her and beg her to commission one for you.)
   

There. I did it. Oh, wait ... I have to tag six people now. With the understanding that I will not think less of you, should you care to decline, I now tag: @lollyrae, @camikaos, @saydawn, @giddyruffles, @chimpchampion, @misterfusion. Do it for the shits and giggles!

Let's go steady!

Goonies are good enough

Remember that movie The Goonies? You know, the one with the kids who get tangled up with bumbling, yet dangerous, criminals who are in search of a pirate's treasure? Filmed in Astoria, Oregon? Has one of The Coreys in it? Don't play coy with me, I know you're flashing back to the scene where the teen girl is playing the skeleton organ, her friend's lives hanging in the balance -- literally.

Well guess what? It's playing on the wall of the old Jower's Shoe Store building in my neighborhood at 7pm tonight, October 11. Jower's is at 8801 N Lombard (in Portland, Oregon of course), which is across the street from Anna Banana's in the business district of St. Johns. Marilyn Jower Korenaga closed Jower's a year or two ago, after than 100 years of selling quality work clothes. (Marilyn is a descendent of Chinese immigrant Wan Jower, who founded the store, and was St. Johns' 2006 Citizen of the Year.)

The seating area for the flick is a vacant lot, a mixture of gravel and bright green grass, so bring a chair. It's a former brownfield, renovated and cleared for public use again recently. So let's use it!

I hope to see you there. And bundle up, please. It's cold at night these days!

View Larger Map

Let's go steady!

Just Can't Get Enough

Back Fence PDX has graciously published another story of mine. Gawd I love having my words there. This one took weeks to write. (I am not kidding. WEEKS.) It's a short bloody tale about rude awakenings and loss of innocence. Can you handle it, like a woman?

Please go read Just Can't Get Enough/On Being Stuffed and let me know what you think about the 598 words that I spent days and days and days agonizing over. :)

Let's go steady!

Nature is Horny (and I have proof)

I haven't been gardening very long, just a few years. I plant things I'll eat and some things I just want to see grow. (The brussel sprouts that are growing right now, for instance, will go to a good home. One that isn't mine.) I try keep the soil weed-free, don't stress about watering regularly unless it's really hot, and every season I lay down a layer of the expensive brand of top soil. It's not a fancy garden, by any means.

I have had very good luck with broccoli and onions. My tomatoes and strawberries crops are a plentiful bounty. I've had failures, too. I finally have one cucumber from my third attempt, and it appears I planted the pickling variety. Then there's the elusive squash family. I've had a lot of trouble with this kind of veggie.

Earlier than I should have this year I planted jack-o-lantern pumpkin and zucchini.
The pumpkin went in an enclosed garden bed where my strawberries, rhubarb, rosemary and mint live. The zucchini, on the other side of the yard. Within a week or two the zuke turned sickly and died. The pumpkin plant thrived, its vine twisting and flowering gorgeous orange blossoms.

Since this is my fifth try in getting some damned squash, later on in the season I also put in acorn and another zucchini to show Nature I wasn't kidding around.

Nature wasn't kidding around, either. Here's what my pumpkin looks like today:

This jolly fellow is supposed to be the jack-o-lantern pumpkin I planted. It's the only one on the vine. Any other vine bulges that developed have subsequently shriveled, soon after. It's 15 inches long and 30 inches around, and as you can see its skin is suspiciously zucchini-like with an orange tinge where the white should be.

Methinks I have learned how very close the squash family is. (Ahem.) Feels like a tragic tale of separation and death, its legacy continuing in the love child that results. The love child I now need to figure out how to cook. I'm thinking PIE.

Let's go steady!

Yay me! Beer and Blog Goodness in St. Johns!

I'm very happy to report that tonight my favorite networking event Beer and Blog will be held in my beloved St. Johns neighborhood at the Leisure Public House! I wrote a little thingy for their website in which I provide the Top 5 Reasons You Should Haul Your Carcass to St. Johns, for those of you who need reasons to meet me in person. (I also include in that post a badly written sentence in reason number three. It is atrocious. LOOK AWAY.)

Please RSVP on upcoming.org and join us tonight, won't you? I'd love to see you there to apologize in person for that terrible aforementioned wording. ;)

Let's go steady!

The Secret to Winning Devoted Fans for Life

Last night I wrote my second post on the great local blog Our PDX, the baby of Ms. Betsy Ritcher (@betsywhim). Betsy is a fabulous writer who has been in the blogging game a long time. I like to believe she INVENTED the blogging, although I'm prone to the dramatics. Suffice to say, this lady has stories and wisdom and likes me. As a PERSON. She's someone I really respect.

Ms. Betsy respects me, too. I know this because she makes the effort to let me know that I, and the other authors on Our PDX, are appreciated for our time. She provides support, both technical and informational. (I know where to find things! Hurrah!) Guilt about post frequency is outlawed. Betsy has a "real" job and a family, like the rest of us, and still has time to toot the "You're Awesome!" horn to celebrate our willingness to contribute and be a part of this project. And I've only written two posts:

I'm Native, I'm Proud
Top 5 Ways to Stay Out of Jail this Fall

I have a very good feeling about this blog, and it has everything to do with Ms. Betsy Ritcher. I'm really excited to be a part of it, and to meet my fellow writers on September 17 at The Chesterfield. We'd love to have readers drop by and say hello! Here's the link with all the details. Hope to see you there. =)

Let's go steady!

Help Wanted: Needy Enabler

The best and worst thing about the Internet is the information overload. Every day I add to links to my Google Docs list of web sites that I want to spend more time looking at...some day. There are two categories of links I save: 1) sources of information for stories I'm researching, and 2) hawt applications I don't have time to play with.

This morning I was perusing my short story research list of web sites relating to roller skating culture in the 1950's-1970's. I gazed longingly at my hawt apps linkies and suddenly thought, "If only I had a client (or 10) with projects that needed me to know how to used these amazing utilities." What a perfect excuse to rearrange my priorities and justify hour after glorious hour learning the intricacies of these apps! I'm not talking about kinda knowing them, or getting the gist of it. I'm already there. I'm dreaming about full-on expert knowledge.

Take a look at some of the applications I'm buzzing over, broken down into RSS and productivity apps and SaaS widget (SMOD) creators.

RSS and productivity apps

http://www.aiderss.com/
Calling itself "an intelligent assistant that saves time and keeps you on top of the latest news," AideRSS identifies feeds by their web popularity, customized by topics specified. It lets you make widgets (aka SMODs...read why I call 'em that here) to output the feed based on your criteria. The purpose is to lessen the information overload by getting you the stuff that is most likely to make you shudder with ecstasy. This is a very good way of getting you relevant and timely information to scoop even the most eagle-eyed feed sifter.

http://www.netvibes.com
Netvibes works like iGoogle on steroids. Using tabbed home page functionality (which you can share with the public) you can put widgets, whole websites, email inboxes, instant messenger apps, link collections and lots more, all in one place. From the little time I've had to play with it, it seems to be a fairly easy way to monitor everything I hold near and dear and to catch new stuff I don't know about yet. Oh, goody! More links to add to my linkie list!

http://www.dapper.net/
This tasty app creates RSS feeds for web sites that don't have subscription functionality already. It provides the means to make widgets, Google gadgets, APIs and Netvibes modules with these feeds. In the Dapp Factory you simply type a URL into a box and click a radio button next to several output options, for example Dapp XML, iCalendar, RSS feed, or Netvibes module. There are several steps, and each step has its own demo for hand holding.

http://pipes.yahoo.com
Oh, boy. This app is one I could do so much with, if only I had the chance. It allows for the manipulation of feeds to extract specific data (such as geo codes) and then mashing them into one feed. It's a drag-and-drop app, which me lurves, and visually connects all the adding and subtracting of the data in feeds with an animated wiggly pipe. Heaven!

http://yuuguu.com/
I'm the one in my circle of (flesh) friends that gets these kind of phone calls: "Hey, Michelle! Um. I'm working in Microsoft Word and there's this doo-hickey on the right side of my document that won't go away. And, when I try to print I get a message asking me to download something. WTF? Call me?" Sigh. Yuuguu is a screen sharing app that lets users see each others screens, without security issues. It integrates conference calling and instant messaging and is PC, Mac and Linux compatible. Meow!

http://screensteps.com/
With the tag line "The documentation tool for people who don't want to do documentation" you can guess why this app is appealing. Personally, I lurve beautifully simplistic technical writing and how-to-manuals, but it's an art to do it right and can be tedious to put all the elements together. Photos and copy traditionally come from different applications (which often fight each other) and when you're doing 15 tutorials at once, well..things can get hairy. ScreenSteps promises to be an efficient, quick way of creating tutorials and guides .Also, there's tons of documentation on how to use the app on the web site. Documentation made, I'm sure, with ScreenSteps.

SaaS (Software-as-a-Service) SMOD creators
Please, please, please, will someone hire me to make them a widget? Of all the social apps out there, SMODs are hands down my favorite. Here are the most interesting I've found so far:

http://sproutbuilder.com/
SproutBuild (in beta) is the one I've spent the most time playing with. (You can see the one I built on my music/movies/books blog.) Its interface reminds me of Flash, and it has some glitches, but MAN IS IT SEXY. It handles both imported or linked media, and uses familiar convention from page layout applications (such as master pages and component panels). At first glance it seems far more customizable than some SMOD apps.

http://www.widgetbox.com
Widgetbox takes your Flash movies, HTML code, web site URLs, RSS feeds or Google gadget and turns it into a SMOD. You can export your shiney new SMOD directly to Facebook and track its viral spread.

http://www.kickapps.com/
This app has a lot of the same bells and whistles as SproutBuilder, but with disco lights, a hosted bar and free cab rides home for your drunk ass. There is of a lot of documentation on how to get your beloved SMOD viral in your budding social community. The SMOD is also highly customizable, allowing you to mess with the HTML, CSS and JavaScript. It's also compatible with CMS apps like Drupal and Joomla. (Note to self: Become an expert in Drupal and Joomla.)

So, whatdoya say? Make a mediaChick happy? Hire me to crunch some feeds, track trends, spy on your competitors, or write stuff that your readers want to read. Enable my lust for hawt apps I don't have time to play with!

Let's go steady!

Breathe easy! I'm still safe from marital bliss

Thanks to all who came to the Anti-Prom Saturday night! It was so much fun that @lollyrae didn't notice I wasn't auctioned off for gawd knows what. This was a relief because there were no suitable boyz there anyway. I know this because none of them climbed the hippie patchwork stage curtains and screamed over Tiger House's music, "Hey! When are we going to get to bid on the super tall chick wearing the tiara?" Dodged a bullet, I did!

Since it was @lollyrae and her man @chimpchampion's show, my job was to just show up and look pretty. I think I did that fairly well. My tweeties @camikaos, @drnormal, @missburrows and @betsywhim showed up looking gorgeous. Doc Normal managed to get John Borroz, master jazz man, to fork up his five bucks and revisit his prom night. My flesh friends (isn't that phrase deliciously horrible?) were all there dressed to the nines (I'd link to them here but they don't read my blogs anyway...stoopid flesh). I again successfully avoided conversations with those I didn't know. (I have stellar networking skillz.) We were all on our best behavior.

I the drank various substances handed to me in bottles and flasks and ate as much homemade cheesy/oniony/hambergery chip dip as possible. A couple of bands played, one with secret identities. They played a short set and then came back out dressed as furries. I don't know their name, but I was very curious about the band's attraction to stuffed animals and whether I'd get a *special* kinda show if I trailed them back to their van after their last set. In the end, I remembered I can't get too far out of @lollyrae's sight, lest she come looking for her pink leather flask (which coincidently, or maybe not, matched my outfit).

There was dancing, some sort of mosh pit thingy, enough beer and eats for everyone, and really great prom attire. My two wives got to see each other, which is much more rare than it should be. (Yes, I have a thing for redheads. Why do you ask?) But, most importantly, my dear @lollyrae was happy with the way it all came about in the end. For that alone, I am very grateful. Thanks to all who attended!

Now, go check out the rest of the Anti-Prom photos!

Let's go steady!

Anti-Prom Night is Freaking Me Out

Sorry, I know my post title is a bit alarmist. But you see...I was just sitting here thinking and having a minor freak out about my pledge to compete in the upcoming Twitter Pie-Off on Saturday. Then suddenly I started freaking out about someone else's freak out, someone's who's having a big event on the same day later that night: @lollyrae's Anti-Prom fund raiser. Between the two of us? Lots of freaking out.

You know about the Anti-Prom, right? It's a benefit dance to raise funds for Luke Dorf's Safe Haven, which provides services for those with mental health issues. Money raised will also be donated to the Anti-Prom venue Liberty Hall, a cool community-run space in North Portland. These are really worthwhile causes that deserve your $5 prom admission.

No matter what the story, it seems many of us have a prom-shaped hole inside. But going to the Anti-Prom isn't just about helping others or setting the past straight. Oh, no. It's about wearing our finest thrift store prom apparel and goofing off like a bunch of morons. As we point to each other and shriek, "OMG! You look GREAT!" we'll really mean "that's so hideous! I'm jealous I didn't find that for myself!" Going to the Anti-Prom also means openly drinking alcohol wearing a lacy poof dress in total defiance of the watchful eye of the chaperones. (Take that, Algrebra II teacher who's name escapes me at this moment!) And, lets be honest. How many more years are you going to be able to fit into that ruffled tuxedo shirt before your girth strains your buttons? I mean, to the point of it actually being a danger to others? Like if a button pops off with such velocity you take someone's eye out? Think about it.

Even with prom night mere days away @lollyrae still needs some help making things happen. I know this because of the aforementioned "she is freaking out." First and foremost on her mind is the DJ/band situation. That situation being that she needs them. The main requirements: they have to be special, not expect any money or a grope, and possess a flair for spinning tunes for grown-ups dressed like members of an 1980s wedding party. And second...you guys know this is a fund raiser, right? Well the organizations this event will support mean a lot to her, so she's feeling stressed about doing her best with no budget at all. (I know! Wow!) So remember: if you can swing it it's BYOB. And hell, throw in some cheesy poofs, too.

Oh. And apparently I will be auctioned off. (Here's where my freak out intersects with @lollyrae's.) My dear @lollyrae has not told me what exactly the @mediaChick #antiprom "package" is. Here's a conversation I just had with the pushy Irish lass via IM about this:

me: I need to know what the hell you're auction me off for. What's the mediachick "package"
h: a drink and a dance
some light banter
kind of escort style
but I'm setting Benjamin as a watchdog
for those hands
me: Uh. No.
h: you'll like it
I"ll pay you in wine and rice crispy treats
me: Uh, no.

This could get ugly. I hope to see you at the Anti-Prom on Saturday night, August 30th, for whatever reason you decide. So go RSVP right now, 'foo! And bring me some cheesy poofs!

Let's go steady!

I'm a Writer, Thank You for Noticing

About a year ago I was dating someone I thought I'd be with for the rest of my life. It was a very hard yet worthwhile relationship. I was sure we could make our partnership work, and that together we would create the kind of life that inspires heart wrenching Academy Award-winning films and articles in The New Yorker. Instead we crashed and burned in spectacular fashion. "Disappointed" or "devastated" does not even begin to describe the months that followed our parting.

Prior to my meeting him, for years and years, my focus was only to survive and to figure out how to provide for my little family. Dating just wasn't on the agenda, which is just as well. I would've been no good to any man of quality. I was working as a freelance videography when video cameras became affordable to the average consumer, which dried up the market for my expertise. I lost my house and my car and my young son and I moved in with my Pops. We slept on the floor, with most of my son's toys and my dishes and such in someone's garage for safe-keeping. You can imagine what these kind of things might do to a sensitive girl's self-esteem, especially one who is supposed to be head of household.

Eventually I got a part-time job that I managed to make full-time. I saved all my money and kept my mouth shut when my dear friends told me I was a good person. I found a cheap duplex to rent and by sheer luck my name was called in the Section 8 low-income housing lottery the month after I signed my month-to-month lease. This made rent cheap enough that I could go back to school and still eat and pay for electricity and childcare. In the beginning I studied marketing but switched to multimedia production when I took an elective credit in video, for old time's sake. I finished Portland Community College's intensive 60-hour Multimedia program on the Dean's List. This was not easy, with each class 3-4 credit hours and only 6-8 weeks long. Each semester I generally took 21-28 credit hours of classes, not including hours of required lab time, while working full-time and raising my son by myself. I wore my Academic Honors sash during graduation with a dreamy disbelief.

It's been years since this dark period in my life, but I still carry it with me. It has shaped my perspective who I am. My new credentials led me to a job that has allowed me to buy a house and a car and buy my son things that he wants, not just things he needs. I continue to hold fast the realization that things could go all to hell at any time. I am still shell shocked and wary. I lost my way, with eyes pried opened to face reality. I will never forget that life throws shit around indiscriminately.

This man that I thought I'd be with forever is an artist and a teacher. In the time we were together, I allowed myself to think of myself as creative for the first time in many, many years. It amazed me how words and pictures and ideas flowed from him. Good ones that made me admire him and want to see him succeed. With him I saw that I hadn't been writing things down anymore, my stories. I hadn't read for pleasure in a long time. Any inspiration I did have felt a waste of time. I was stuck in the time when all my energy was spent on doing something productive, for survival, instead. All the videos I'd done, or programing I'd produced, any writing I'd done, all of it really belonged to someone else. They weren't mine.

I made this man a promise that I would write again, become a writer like I've always wanted to be. I promised that I would write a book, and that's what I aim to do ... despite him, or because of him. It doesn't really matter as long as I am doing it. The things that have happened to me, that have led me to the place I am now, all the signs point to now being the time to do it. I've met some wonderful writers whose opinions I greatly respect, who genuinely want to see me succeed. This writing thing is not easy. It's from the heart, gut churning, soul baring and extremely personal stuff that scares me silly to share. But I need to. I need to tell my stories.

It's difficult to disengage the survival mode of my brain, to let go of the idea that I need to be on "high alert" in case something terrible happens again and I have to start all over, but I am learning.And, in the meantime, I am writing my little heart out and looking for job opportunities that won't make me feel like I'm lying when I say "I'm a writer." I could certainly fail, but I think I might not. But if I do I know I can crawl myself out of that hole again, with a big "fuck you" to those who say I can't.

Let's go steady!

Too Much Information? Nah

I don't know about you, but my Sunday afternoons are pretty much the same as this guy's:

See more Jon Lajoie videos at Funny or Die

Let's go steady!

See? St. Johns is Awesome!

Today was the 13th annual Providence Bridge Pedal. This is when cyclists descend upon my sleepy St. Johns neighborhood and take over the downtown area. We don't mind. At all. Why? It's good to have folks from the "outside" take a look around and see how cool our community is!

I walked (wheezed, is more accurate) my way down to the town square to see all the action. Along the way I took some photos of things that caught my eye. Once there, I took some more. Take a look!

I heart St. Johns!

Let's go steady!

Who Loves You, Baby?

Last night I spent a couple of hours at Beer and Blog, a weekly get-together for those of us in Portland, Oregon. The premise: Bloggers helping bloggers over beer. We usually meet at the Green Dragon (who love us). Sometimes we work together, and sometimes there is a specific (and tasty) topic of discussion. Suffice to say, it's a popular event among local bloggers, and when you have a popular local blogger/author/startup entrepreneur leading the discussion you can be sure lots of people will show up.

Melissa Lion, author of Swollen and Upstream (which has been optioned for a movie, whoo-hoo!), book critic, creative writing teacher, Recovering Californian, and one of the brains behind the delicious storytelling startup Back Fence PDX, talked to a very crowded room about narratives techniques in blogs. Any blog. Now, Beer and Blog is an eclectic group of creatives, techies, ad peeps, and the in-between (that's me). A lot of us are on twitter. (You've heard of twitter.com, right?) We're a nice cross-section of the kind of professionals that Portland attracts. And, unlike other West Coast tech-focused cities (*cough*San Fransisco*cough*Seattle*) we adore tooting each other's horns. Loudly. (Kinda like I'm doing now.)

When I began tweeting last year I didn't really "get it." You know this story: I heard about it, was intrigued, signed up, but initially didn't see the value of sharing the events of my mundane life. The fact that I got bacon juice on my new Victoria Secret ass-enhancing slacks or that my green pepper plant had finally sprouted a pepper, only to be devoured by some bug, seemed trivial. Then suddenly people started to reply to my tweets. And following me. Some of the earliest followers of mediaChick were Rick Turoczy, Melissa Lion and Marshall Kirkpatrick of Read Write Web. (I've never seen Marshall at a Beer and Blog; I'm mentioning him in this post because he is awesome and a poster child for the Portland way of being both uber talented and so generous with his knowledge of geeky things. Seriously, go read his bloggie.)

So, I checked out Rick and Melissa and Marshall and slowly it dawned on me that I had been blessed with an audience of people who rawked it. Hard. And lived HERE. I had these insane thoughts like "Wouldn't it be cool if I met Rick and he wanted me to guest blog on his brilliant blog Silicon Florist?" (I swear I'm half done with it, Rick!) And, "Dang, it would blow my mind if Melissa published!" (She did, on Back Fence PDX!) You see where I'm going with this? Eventually I caught the attention of Miss Burrows and Cami Kaos and Banana Lee Fishbones and a huge number of local folks who let little ol' me sit at the cool kids table. Every week I meet more talented, funny, helpful, encouraging folks. (See us ladies huddled around Rick? Left to right: mediaChick, Rick, Miss Burrows, Cami Kaos and Banana Lee Fishbones. Lots of love there!)

Many of my tweeties showed up to hear Melissa at Beer and Blog explain that blog narrative is important, no matter what you write about. She talked about plot arcs and characters and why linking to and commenting on other blogs is super important. She also said "the best blogs update every day."(I'm pretty sure she was looking at me when she said that. Ahem.) I'm reluctant to show favoritism, but damn if this Beer and Blog wasn't the best one yet.

Bravo, and thank you to all the participants of Beer and Blog. Justin Kistner, the man behind the curtain, should be immortalized somehow for his tenacity in pulling this off weekly. I met a lot of new tweeties that I've had my eye on for some time. I look forward to seeing them again and talking blogs over beer. And we can't forget: this kind of collaborative love fest wouldn't work well in any other city. Portland, me loves you!

(By the way, thanks also to those "get well soon" messages. Recently I've had some asthma flair ups and I almost didn't make it to Beer and Blog. Also, thanks for not staring when I puffed away at my inhaler. Sooo not sexy! Also, sorry if I've offended anyone from San Francisco or Seattle. Just a little barb for laughs!)

Let's go steady!

Easy as Pie

I've made lots of yummy pies, muffins, breads, cakes, scones and fancy cookies over the years. I enjoy baking immensely, and find it a very relaxing thing to occupy my hands with while I am deep in thought. But once upon a time, for years and years, I only made oatmeal raisin cookies using a basic (but tasty) Betty Crocker recipe. Dependable and safe.

My fear of doing any more than that (and maybe you can relate) was acerbated by my perfectionism: I can't make a pie because it might not be perfect (meaning edible). This is a common theme for me, my struggle to let go. To trust the world won't come to a screeching, embarrassing halt if things go wrong. Coupled with this is an innate desire to be rational and level-headed.

I was like deer mesmerized by the lights of certain vehicular slaughter. Freaking ridiculous, really. All eyes on me, fingers pointed, cruel laughter for making a stinker of a pie? The reality is that, in the case of making a decent pie, one must consider the evidence. Since the dawn of the pie's ancient Greek and Egyptian beginnings, hundreds of thousands of ordinary everyday people have made perfectly divine pies of every possible variation that didn't suck. Of course it was possible. But still...pie crusts are tricky. I've made pies that ruined pie plates. Pies so bad one might advise the pie-maker to stick to safe, dependable Betty Crocker cookies. Pie crust FAIL.

Now, here is the bottom line about making pies that don't suck: It doesn't matter what recipe or filling you use, or whether your crust is shortening, butter or lard based. Making a pie requires just three things: a zen-like state of acceptance of what may come, respect for (and unwavering belief in) science, and ice cold water.

Baking is all science, you know, with its formulas and measuring and various temperatures and critical timing. A "this ain't no big deal" frame of mind and a good recipe followed to the t(easpoon) using very, very cold water will bring crust success every time. And when that first pie comes out of the oven looking just like the picture, something wonderful happens: you get confident. You start to understand why certain ingredients in certain amounts are used in a certain order to make pies that don't suck. You start to improvise here and there to see what happens. Does it suck? Try something else. Does it rock? Experiment some more or move on to that tasty cheese cake recipe you've got your eye on or the awesome scones your twitter friend shared. Pie crust FTW!

My pies started not sucking when a friend of mine, the lovely and most talent Jaisy, sat down with me and told me that it wasn't all that big of deal. The secret, she confided, is in following the recipe exactly. Pies are just flour and fat and ice cold water wrapped in "let it be." "You can do this," she said. She wrote out her mother's pie crust recipe and sent me home, inspired and calm. From then on, my pies didn't suck.

I'm planning to join the Twitter Pie-Off on August 30th in Washington Park. I will be up against some professionals for a good old fashioned baking competition. I don't know what to expect, but rest assured I will not be bringing a pie that sucks. (By the way, later that night I'll be at @lollyrae's Anti-Prom, a fund raiser benefiting the Luke Dorf healing community and Liberty Hall. Maybe I'll even be wearing a Twitter Pie-Off prize ribbon!)

Let's go steady!

If it hurts, it's good for you

I wrote a story for my friend Melissa Lion. She and her partner are the masterminds behind Back Fence PDX, a Web site that focuses on the art of storytelling. Believe me when I say there are some damned fine stories there. Amazing, handcrafted tales. When she said I could write there, too, I was very happy. And then I freaked out.

Writing this piece was hard. It hurt. I stretched and fidgeted and hemmed and hawed and then, before I knew it, it was done. And it hurt less. I slept like girl unencumbered by troubles that night.

I have a lot of stories. I think it's time I let some of them out.

Read my story on Back Fence PDX

Is Spinning Toothpaste the Future?

I was shopping for food (I hate shopping for food) and I saw this 3-D kiosk at the Fred Meyer in my beloved St. Johns neighborhood. First I stared at it as it projected logos and products and produce at me. Then I pushed on the buttons on the panel and accepted a coupon for Fancy Cat and a contest entry form for free gas for a year. (I found it amusing that the entry form had to be mailed in. You know, as in snail mail.)

I'm so curious about this Holo™ 3D kiosk technology sitting in the lobby of my chain grocery. What brings such technology to my sleepy neck of the woods? What does it say about me and my neighbors? I also wonder why this kiosk isn't gathering any data (that I can see) besides clicks. It feels like a missed opportunity.

After I finally escaped to the safety of home (and $104 lighter) I sat down and chatted online with @lollyrae:

me: there's a cool three-d ad kiosk at the st john freddies
h: ads
no
me: Its freaking 3d spinning fruit!
Its awesome!
it spits out coupons
and contest apps that you have to MAIL in
perfect for the st johns blog, no?
h: yes
me: I got a picture of a spinning tube of toothpaste
h: i want to see some hair products flying out of their containers
and some instructional guides for the tampon-novice
me: Hm, perhaps I shall put that renumeration in the copy?
h: maybe so!!
I would be excited to stand there and feel bodily threatened by flying produce as well

She is *not* kidding. She'd turn it into performance art and invite all her Portland Cacophony Society friends. Look for a St. Johns neighborhood post soon. And by soon, I of course mean "eventually".

Let's go steady!

In my defense, I was a wee drunk

(Second Runner-Up Post Title: I went to Camp Naughty, and I all I got was this shirt, a hangover, and frozen undies.)

It's been a couple of days since I rolled up my sleeping bag and said my see-you-around's to the campers and counselors of Camp Naughty. Enough time has passed for me to speak publicly about what transpired.

I arrived (late, fashionably) and was greeted by Miss Burrows and Cami Kaos and immediately had to choose a tent. Before I could get in the gate. There was an *ackward* moment at that point, and I looked longingly into the entrance to Camp Naughty where I spotted two large tents set up; one ruled by the Treasurelicious girly and the other commandeered by Strange Love girly Cami Kaos. Oh, the tension! Okay, not really. But I did have to pick a tent, and so I choose Cami Kaos' cause she had less bodies in it. (Hm, interesting way to put that. File that away for later pondering.)

The weather and company was divine. I felt completely at ease and wrapped in a cocoon of acceptance and frank naughtiness. And, my gawd! The eats and libations! Joilene made cupcakes with candy penis sprinkles, which understandably put my pound cake to shame. (Don't worry, we put it out of its rejection misery for breakfast the next morning). Joilene made those cupcakes on a sprained ankle and came to camp like a trooper. (Can you blame her?) I had pizza and salad and bread with homemade spinach dip made by Cami Kaos herself for dinner. As I munched away at the deliciousness on my plate I heard the story of how Kelly Banana Lee Fishbones came to have a gorgeous green diamond ring inspired by Green Lantern's power ring, and that she makes one hell of a high school cheerleader.

I chatted with Giddy and discovered she and Cami Kaos were high school chums. Giddy is full of laughter, which makes ME laugh, and then before I knew it I had consumed three glasses of pinosas, Camp Naughty's Signature Drink. Bad Mom Stephanie showed me how to make them by getting juuuuust the right ratio of pineapple juice and champagne. So refreshing! Bad Mom is not bad but, in fact, an excellent, hawt mom and talented teacher of alternative high schoolers. However, this lesson in mixology was my undoing.

Before I knew it we campers were whisked away to the cool basement studio for some Strange Love Live time. Oh, and someone let Doc Normal in the room (KIDDING!) to push buttons and such. I was the first to sit in the hot seat and say sexually explicit things. Say ... did I mention I had yet another pinosa before I climbed over the mic stands? For those of you who caught the video streaming here are some answers for some frequently asked questions: YES, that blank stare meant I was trying to remember my name. NO, I didn't plan on talking about my ex (OMG! I talked about my ex?!) And, finally, YES, I did really ask Miss Burrows how many orgasms she's had "between naps" and asked Cami Kaos the number of sex partners she's had in the last 10 years. (2 and 5-7ish, respectively.) In my defense, I was a wee drunk. But they were good questions we were all dying to know! You're welcome.

After the show we crawled to our campground for some more naughty discussion and Smores for Whores. I was really looking forward to setting something on fire. To win a tea light, wooden skewer and marshmallow to make our smores, we had to correctly answer sex trivial questions. My marshmallow was a-blazin' in no time. After that I have cloudy memories of swinging, laughing, snuggling and crashing into a sugar coma. I slept ridiculously well. Truly.

Thanks to Miss Burrows and Cami Kaos, my camp counselors who were so generous and very*very*very nice to look at. Sign me up for Camp Naughty 2009!

Let's go steady!

Who the Hell is mediaChick?

I take the first handful of days off in July for my Annual Birfday Staycation. A staycation, as you may already know, is when you take time off work and stay in town. With plenty of cool things to do around my beloved Portland, staycationing is a no-brainer.

I work for a company with holiday pay and so I schedule the time off to include the 4th of July and my birthday. That way I get more benefit bang for my buck. And every year I do three things: 1) avoid making lists of things to do, or berate myself for "wasting" my time off, 2) think a lot about myself and what I want out of life, and 3) not think about what I could be doing instead that's more: productive, efficient, "right", etc. I do these things to concentrate on the answer to this question: Who the hell is mediaChick? This is my fourth year of thinking about that question.

The art of submerging oneself in unadulterated me-me-me thinking without guilt does not come naturally to me. I have no problem whatsoever spending hour after delicious hour pondering and percolating and philosophizing; it's the "without guilt" part I struggle with. We all have that critical little voice inside us that quietly second-guesses decisions and reinforces toxic self-doubt. That internal dialog isn't all bad, however. I learned long ago my (opinionated) little voice also has uncanny intuition and lofty goals for my future. And so, once a year on my Annual Birfday Staycation, I pay close attention to what it is saying. I dream about my future and continue to learn what it means to "follow my bliss."

Let's go steady!

Who Says I'm Naughty?

I don't care as long as CamiKaos and MissBurrows do! This Friday and Saturday I will be attending the invitation-only sleepover Camp Naughty™ 2008. I was thrilled to receive my official acceptance letter from the two gorgeous ones for their exclusive camp, and so very proud to know I'd been "chosen from a plethora of attractive and naughtily qualified applicants." Wow! A plethora! Check out my naughty co-campers: Joleine Sigler (@Joleine) Banana Lee Fishbones (@verso) Stephanie (@badmom) and Giddy (@giddysruffles). Score! Believe you me, I sent in the enclosed registration/emergency contact form to the camp registrar without delay.

Lest you think I'm silly for wanting to spend the night in a tent with 7 ladies (for realz) let me give you a short rundown of activities my camp counselors CamiKaos and MissBurrows have planned for us: an alfresco dinner with a special Camp Naughty™ Signature Drink prepared by mix-mistress CamiKaos; we get to appear on the Strange Love Live podcast; Smores for Whores (I am sooo looking forward to that); fun with bondage tape (I'm an old hand at that one...did anyone see CamiKaos and MissBurrows accosting me with pink bondage tape in the aisle at Ignite Portland 3?); bedtime games (oh whatever does THAT mean?); and appropriately planned for the next morning, the Happy Ending where us campers get Naughty bags. Meow!

I am *most* looking forward to the Strange Love Live Camp Naughty™ 2008 podcast on Friday July 11th at 8:30pm. I do enjoy my Strange Love podcast, don't you? It makes me misty-eyed about my cable access days (back when Portland Community Media was called Portland Cable Access and Jim Spagg was frequently sharing his nekkid wiener with the Greater Portland Metropolitan Area). It was during this period when I first began calling myself "mediaChick". I used it as a sign-off to an e-mail I was responding to from a fan of a cable access show I was producing/directing, a long-running live Brit pop music video series. It was an hour of high energy and chaotic goofiness, co-hosted at that time by brit-pop fanatic and author Jamie Rich and Janelle Jarosz, proprietress of the much missed Ozone Records ). It featured very cool and sometimes rare videos and giveaway swag in a studio decorated in Manic Street Preachers, Prodigy and The Smiths posters. Anyone could call into to chat during the live broadcast, so you can imagine the tasty episodes of debauchery. FUN!

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to get my inflatable mattress out, shake the critters outta my sleeping bag, and get ready for Camp Naughty™ 2008. Oh yeah, I need purchase a pretty undies-and-bra set, too. You know, for when the pillow fight makes me sweaty and I have to take my clothes off.

Whoo-hoo! I'm going to Camp Naughty! (Brought to you by Strange Love and Treasurelicious!)

Let's go steady!