Sorry, I know my post title is a bit alarmist. But you see...I was just sitting here thinking and having a minor freak out about my pledge to compete in the upcoming Twitter Pie-Off on Saturday. Then suddenly I started freaking out about someone else's freak out, someone's who's having a big event on the same day later that night: @lollyrae's Anti-Prom fund raiser. Between the two of us? Lots of freaking out.
You know about the Anti-Prom, right? It's a benefit dance to raise funds for Luke Dorf's Safe Haven, which provides services for those with mental health issues. Money raised will also be donated to the Anti-Prom venue Liberty Hall, a cool community-run space in North Portland. These are really worthwhile causes that deserve your $5 prom admission.
No matter what the story, it seems many of us have a prom-shaped hole inside. But going to the Anti-Prom isn't just about helping others or setting the past straight. Oh, no. It's about wearing our finest thrift store prom apparel and goofing off like a bunch of morons. As we point to each other and shriek, "OMG! You look GREAT!" we'll really mean "that's so hideous! I'm jealous I didn't find that for myself!" Going to the Anti-Prom also means openly drinking alcohol wearing a lacy poof dress in total defiance of the watchful eye of the chaperones. (Take that, Algrebra II teacher who's name escapes me at this moment!) And, lets be honest. How many more years are you going to be able to fit into that ruffled tuxedo shirt before your girth strains your buttons? I mean, to the point of it actually being a danger to others? Like if a button pops off with such velocity you take someone's eye out? Think about it.
Even with prom night mere days away @lollyrae still needs some help making things happen. I know this because of the aforementioned "she is freaking out." First and foremost on her mind is the DJ/band situation. That situation being that she needs them. The main requirements: they have to be special, not expect any money or a grope, and possess a flair for spinning tunes for grown-ups dressed like members of an 1980s wedding party. And second...you guys know this is a fund raiser, right? Well the organizations this event will support mean a lot to her, so she's feeling stressed about doing her best with no budget at all. (I know! Wow!) So remember: if you can swing it it's BYOB. And hell, throw in some cheesy poofs, too.
Oh. And apparently I will be auctioned off. (Here's where my freak out intersects with @lollyrae's.) My dear @lollyrae has not told me what exactly the @mediaChick #antiprom "package" is. Here's a conversation I just had with the pushy Irish lass via IM about this:
me: I need to know what the hell you're auction me off for. What's the mediachick "package"
h: a drink and a dance
some light banter
kind of escort style
but I'm setting Benjamin as a watchdog
for those hands
me: Uh. No.
h: you'll like it
I"ll pay you in wine and rice crispy treats
me: Uh, no.
This could get ugly. I hope to see you at the Anti-Prom on Saturday night, August 30th, for whatever reason you decide. So go RSVP right now, 'foo! And bring me some cheesy poofs!
